Baseball Has
Gone Soft.
Welcome to Deadball Academy. If it worked in 1984, it still works today. We don’t do launch angles. We don’t believe in exit velo. The only analytics we trust are our gut. Do you have what it takes to be a Deadballer? We’ll be the judge of that. You’re either our next prospect or our next lawsuit.
Shop Deadball Gear
FIRST-TEAM ALL BEER LEAGUE | Official Roster Tee
$34.00
Elite athleticism is temporary. The ability to drink a warm lager in a dusty parking lot is forever.
The scouts stopped calling in high school. The knees gave out in college. But the liver? The liver is just entering its prime.
This shirt is for the absolute legends of the Sunday Slow Pitch. It celebrates the player whose fielding percentage is lower than their B.A.C., and whose warm-up routine consists entirely of cracking a tab and stretching the truth about their stats from 1999. You might not be able to beat out a ground ball anymore, but you’ve never lost a race to the cooler.
The Specs:
The Accolade: Worn by athletes who lead the league in "Hamstrings Pulled" and "Excuses Per At-Bat."
The Material: Printed on a Bella + Canvas 3001. It’s breathable, which is crucial when you get winded jogging to first base.
The Fit: Retail fit. Designed to flatter the "Power Hitter" physique (the beer belly).
Game time is 8:00 PM. Cooler time was 7:30 PM. Don't be late.
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
The scouts stopped calling in high school. The knees gave out in college. But the liver? The liver is just entering its prime.
This shirt is for the absolute legends of the Sunday Slow Pitch. It celebrates the player whose fielding percentage is lower than their B.A.C., and whose warm-up routine consists entirely of cracking a tab and stretching the truth about their stats from 1999. You might not be able to beat out a ground ball anymore, but you’ve never lost a race to the cooler.
The Specs:
The Accolade: Worn by athletes who lead the league in "Hamstrings Pulled" and "Excuses Per At-Bat."
The Material: Printed on a Bella + Canvas 3001. It’s breathable, which is crucial when you get winded jogging to first base.
The Fit: Retail fit. Designed to flatter the "Power Hitter" physique (the beer belly).
Game time is 8:00 PM. Cooler time was 7:30 PM. Don't be late.
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
Deadball Academy "Standard Issue" 1984 Tee
$34.00
If it hurt in 1984, it still works now. That’s science.
This isn't just a t-shirt; it’s a warning label. It tells the world that you believe the game of baseball peaked on a Tuesday in July of 1987, and everything since then has been a mistake.
While the modern world tries to ruin the sport with iPads, biomechanics, and "empathy," this crest represents the last line of defense for the way the game was meant to be played: Angry, hungover, and with zero regard for the ulnar collateral ligament.
The Specs:
Official Academy Gear: Worn by athletes who know that "load management" just means carrying more sandbags up a hill.
Premium Construction: Printed on a Bella + Canvas 3001, because while we believe in mental toughness, we don't believe in wearing sandpaper.
The Vibe: Guaranteed to scare anyone holding a radar gun.
Welcome to Deadball Academy. Practice started ten minutes ago. You're late.
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
This isn't just a t-shirt; it’s a warning label. It tells the world that you believe the game of baseball peaked on a Tuesday in July of 1987, and everything since then has been a mistake.
While the modern world tries to ruin the sport with iPads, biomechanics, and "empathy," this crest represents the last line of defense for the way the game was meant to be played: Angry, hungover, and with zero regard for the ulnar collateral ligament.
The Specs:
Official Academy Gear: Worn by athletes who know that "load management" just means carrying more sandbags up a hill.
Premium Construction: Printed on a Bella + Canvas 3001, because while we believe in mental toughness, we don't believe in wearing sandpaper.
The Vibe: Guaranteed to scare anyone holding a radar gun.
Welcome to Deadball Academy. Practice started ten minutes ago. You're late.
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
THE MULLET IS MANDATORY | Business in the Front, Party at the Plate
$34.00
In the modern game, players worry about "branding" and "fade maintenance." At Deadball Academy, we know the truth: you cannot hit a slider if your neck is exposed to the elements.
The mullet is the ultimate performance enhancer. It provides essential UV protection for the neck while allowing for maximum aerodynamic flow during the home run trot. It tells the pitcher that you are professional enough to show up on time, but wild enough to charge the mound if he looks at you wrong.
The Specs:
The Look: 10% Accountant, 90% Professional Wrestler.
The Material: Printed on premium jersey cotton. Soft enough to drape over your frame, just like the glorious Kentucky Waterfall drapes over your shoulders.
The Warning: Wearing this shirt may cause spontaneous urges to buy a vintage muscle car and listen to heavy metal at unsafe volumes.
Get some flow. Get some hits. Welcome to the Academy.
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
The mullet is the ultimate performance enhancer. It provides essential UV protection for the neck while allowing for maximum aerodynamic flow during the home run trot. It tells the pitcher that you are professional enough to show up on time, but wild enough to charge the mound if he looks at you wrong.
The Specs:
The Look: 10% Accountant, 90% Professional Wrestler.
The Material: Printed on premium jersey cotton. Soft enough to drape over your frame, just like the glorious Kentucky Waterfall drapes over your shoulders.
The Warning: Wearing this shirt may cause spontaneous urges to buy a vintage muscle car and listen to heavy metal at unsafe volumes.
Get some flow. Get some hits. Welcome to the Academy.
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
Wear It, Meat!
Welcome to the official gear shop of Deadball Academy: where bad decisions make great shirts. Every tee, snapback, and insult-laced slogan is pulled straight from the dugout of your worst baseball instincts. Made for the has-beens, never-weres, and bench-clearing legends.
